Ants in your pants make your belly button dance.

[sarah_orange]

Yesterday I got the itch. The irrational itch that comes from thinking about something too much. Something itchy

It was flying ant day. I dislike flying ant day. Normal ants I can pretty much ignore unless they're eating my jam or partying hard in my living room. But flying ants... no - they're a different kettle of formicidae.

Firstly they're bigger and therefore squishier - yak! You have to decide whether to look out for them on the pavement or not. And they're all over the pavement which makes not walking on them quite a chore. I don't want a thick coating of squished ants all over my shoes and carpet! yak yak yak!

Then there's the lack of flying skills. They're ants - they don't tend to get much flying practice in - they're a walking insect. They come into possession of wings for a few hours and scoot about like a crack whore with a jetpack. I got hit by a lot of them last night whilst they were practicing their aeronautics. One went down my cleavage. *shudder* That was the start of the itching. I was pretty sure I wafted it out of the bottom of my top pretty sharpish but boy did I spend the night wriggling after that at the imagined intrusions of confused ants.

But the worse thing about them is the wings. The temporary nature of the wings. They're just waiting to fall off. In your dinner, up your nose, in your eye. Of course I suspect this exacerbates the bad flying too. By the end of my journey home last night (lengthened by going to meet Will at the club and plotting for an hour or so) they were still *everywhere* but now they lacked wings. Leaving me to ponder "where do all the wings go?" Hmm light, aerodynamically designed wings - where might they go when not attached to a fat ant? EVERYWHERE! I bet I have ant wings in my hair, in my lungs and indeed in my pants. Watch as my belly button dances...

/ant rant

Comments

[bikerfaerie.livejournal.com]

So you had it up there as well. I walked a slightly different way home and noticed about four lots of the little buggers. At least I've managed to keep the ones in my back yard under control so that wasn't crawling with them. Didn't realise that the big buggers were ones without wings, I had a couple of them so I guess the battle for my back garden continues!

[tails-redux.livejournal.com]

Aye ... there were a load of insects with crap navigation about Bristol yesterday ... wondered if it was that time of year again.

[daevid.livejournal.com]

I remember in the early 00s coming back from Whitby to discover that the kitchen was full of the damn things... All fat bodies and wings O_o

Yak indeed...

[thatmakesmemad.livejournal.com]

Could be worse.
They've discovered that a variety of ant has moved in from the continent that loves electricity, loves it more than food. Will seek out your junction boxes and die by the 1000 creating a pontential fire hazard.
Seems to be saw fly season too. I wear blue glasses while out cycling for limited glare reduction (sun ? really ? Where? ) and keeping the flies out of my eyes. The saw flies land on them and walk around!!!! :(

[http://users.livejournal.com/_insecure_/]

you should try the stables... on the yard there are flying ants, in the stables dying worms and in the field an assortment of flies, midges and little flying beetle things - never seen so many flying things and they go straight for your eye balls!

[sarah-orange.livejournal.com]

mmm lovely moist eyeballs!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_pyromancer_/]

Class ant rant!

They come into possession of wings for a few hours and scoot about like a crack whore with a jetpack LOL!

They must only hang out in posh parts of the city though, not seen anything like that (airborne ants or crack-whores with jetpacks) over in the east.

Good music though, and remember, "you cut of his head, legs come looking for you!" :-)

[miss-corinne.livejournal.com]

My flat is infested with a predatory scourge of fruitflies. Also with the itching. Damn things were on my *toothbrush* ew ew ew

[sarah-orange.livejournal.com]

erk. get those in the office a lot. I'm often seen flinching and slapping the table - much to the amusement of my colleagues

[blondelass.livejournal.com]

I saw a load of ants on the pavement yesterday.

Although the worst was getting off the bus one evening and almost treading on an extremely large gathering of snails. They were everywhere!

[sarah-orange.livejournal.com]

snails are great cos they have handles so you can pick them up and move them. slugs on the other hand...
I'm often seen rescuing snails that have strayed onto busy footpaths. I hate that late night crunch as you walk up the path in the dark... poor things...

[plushy.livejournal.com]

ARGH! That's my worst day ever! I didn't see any though :\

[sarah-orange.livejournal.com]

well that's lucky then! :D

[octopoid-horror.livejournal.com]

Ants are creepy, but also awesome. I think it's leaf cutter ants that are preyed on by horrible wasps that like to parasitically control their BRAIN, so in order to counter this threat, teeny tiny ants ride on the heads of bigger ants to fight off attackers.

[sarah-orange.livejournal.com]

as a kid one of my favourite holiday hobbies was following ant trains to find out where they went and what was at the end. anthole at one end - dead grasshopper being slowly dismantled at the other...

it's just the flying ones I dislike... shudder

:D

[ulfilias.livejournal.com]

Also known as pink panther theme day....You walk arround, singing "Dead Ant....Dead Ant...Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant, DEADDDDDD Ant.