Neon on my naked skin, passing silhouettes of strange illuminated mannequins.

Oddly enough I'm glad to be home, back to the relative normality of the life of orange.
Can't believe how much stuff occurred here in the 13 days I was out of the country. People losing jobs, splitting up, getting together, being in hospital... pfft! Maybe it's always this exciting and I just don't normally notice...

Japan was everything I'd expected and more. it was more flashy/blinky than you can even begin to imagine. a tangled mass of chaotic noise, light and movement. utter confusion. people everywhere. train stations with 60+ exits. short people around your ankles. undeciperable neon kanji and random english. and then the contrast of the shrines and gardens. unbelievable beauty and serenity.

won't even try to write it up as it's reduced my attention span to that of a 12 year old tartrazine addict so here are a few (well quite a lot really but hey) bullet points:

• umbrellas - de rigure in japan even if it's only spotting - the entire nation seems to have a morbid fear of getting rained on even slightly


• said umbrellas seem to be instantly produced from some secret umbrella gland within 3 seconds of the first raindrop and are absorbed again immediately afterwards


• just because it's brown doesn't mean it's chocolate


• you think engrish is hard to find because you become blind to it. it is infact everywhere - just looking now I noticed the cover of a toilet sign I bought says 'sign sticker - makes your life vivid'...


• there is no point to pachinko. none. what so ever


• I can always find the red light district. not necessarily on purpose. in retrospect this is because they're everywhere


• plastic food does not look appetising


• the japanese do strange things to trees and it looks really good


• moss is an acceptable and pleasant grass substitute - which is useful as proper japanese grass appears to be beige


• it's a country where you really, really don't want to just order something random if the menu's all in kanji


• supermarkets are one of the most interesting indicators of the finer details of a culture


• shinto is the one with the orange gateways


• japanese goth is all about the frill and not at all about the boobies


• there's something inherently and pantwettingly terrifying about being greeted by 7 women at the checkout of a shop saying "irasshai maseeeeee" at the same time


• cuteness is endemic. even street sweeping machines play a plinky madness inducing little tune


• if you have red hair and/or piercings you are a rockstar


• hello kitty is just plain WRONG!


• vegetarians beware - just because a menu notes the main ingredients as vegetables doesn't mean it isn't actually full of meat or fish


• the japanese have avidly embraced both cheese and italian food


• bear ears are simply the funniest item of clothing ever


• japanese women have strange pixellated pubes - it must be really uncomfortable


• buses and trains attract nutters no matter where you are in the world


• shabbu shabbu and sukiyaki are similar but different


• if you saw it, it's not a geiko, its a maiko


• plastic tat is still plastic tat even when its produced in sets of 7 and randomly sold in packets that don't let you know which one of the 7 it is with the idea of getting you to collect the lot


• wooden shoes and white cotton tabi socks are the height of elegance even when you have your pyjamas on


• tea and cake tastes significantly nicer when served on the 41st floor of an extremely expensive hotel

I'd better stop - I could go on for hours. god help you if you encounter me drunk at anypoint in the next 3 months...